A Pinch of Thought 3-26-18

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Published March 26, 2018

A Pinch of Thought[edit | edit source]

Murderous Math[edit | edit source]

Any prime number that is one more than a multiple of 4 (e.g. 5 = 4 +1, 13 = 12 + 1, 29 = 28 + 1, 41 = 40 + 1, ...) is the sum of two squares (e.g. e.g. 5 = 4 +1, 13 = 4 + 9, 29 = 4 + 25, 41 = 16 + 25, ...).

Horrific History[edit | edit source]

Seat Belt Fastened at All Times[edit | edit source]

There weren’t many old BAC One-Elevens still flying in 1990, but one of them, British Airways 5390, was en route from Birmingham to the Spanish island of Malaga on June 10. It was a sunny Sunday, with 81 happy beachgoers aboard, when the entire pilot’s-side windscreen blew out as the One-Eleven climbed through 17,300 feet. The captain, Tim Lancaster, was almost instantly sucked out the opening—he’d removed his shoulder harness after takeoff and loosened his lapstrap—but fortunately the backs of his knees jammed against the top of the windscreen frame while his feet were caught under the yoke of his control column. Steward Nigel Ogden, who had just entered the cockpit, grabbed Lancaster by the legs while the first officer got the airplane under control.

Ogden was on the verge of being dragged out as well when a second steward reached the cockpit and secured him with a strap from the captain’s shoulder harness. By this time, Lancaster had slipped sideways from the roof of the cockpit, and his bloodied head was flailing against the left side window. The crew assumed that he was already dead. “His eyes were wide open,” Ogden recalled. “I’ll never forget that sight.” Lancaster was actually comatose, his systems shut down as a result of the incredible shock and the excruciating cold of the high-speed slipstream. A second steward eventually had to relieve Ogden, who was frostbitten and losing his grip, and by the time the airplane landed at Southampton, England, Lancaster was being held only by his ankles. He in fact survived with a fractured arm and wrist, and his first words after being pulled back into the cockpit were “I want to eat.” (“Just like a pilot,” Ogden reportedly said.) It was soon determined that an overworked mechanic had used undersized bolts on 84 of the windscreen’s 90 hold-down fittings.

Wacky Holidays[edit | edit source]

1 National Pig Day

1 Peanut Butter Lovers' Day

1 Purim

2 Old Stuff Day

2 Employee Appreciation Day

2 National Salesperson Day

2 World Day of Prayer

3 Caregiver Appreciation Day

3 I Want You to be Happy Day

3 If Pets Had Thumbs Day

3 National Anthem Day

3 Peach Blossom Day

4 Holy Experiment Day

4 Hug a GI Day

4 Oscar Night

5 Multiple Personality Day

6 Dentist's Day

6 National Frozen Food Day

7 National Crown Roast of Pork Day

8 Be Nasty Day

8 International (Working) Women's Day

8 Popcorn Lover's Day second Thursday

9 Panic Day

10 Middle Name Pride Day

11 Johnny Appleseed Day

11 Worship of Tools Day

12 Girl Scouts Day

12 Plant a Flower Day

13 Ear Muff Day

13 Jewel Day

14 Learn about Butterflies Day

14 National Potato Chip Day

14 National Pi Day

15 Dumbstruck Day

15 Everything You Think is Wrong Day

15 Ides of March

16 Everything You Do is Right Day

16 Freedom of Information Day

16 Incredible Kid Day

17 Corned Beef and Cabbage Day

17 National Quilting Day

17 Submarine Day

17 Saint Patrick's Day

18 Goddess of Fertility Day

18 Supreme Sacrifice Day

19 Poultry Day

20 International Earth Day

20 Extraterrestrial Abductions Day

20 Proposal Day

20 National Agriculture Day

20 Spring (Vernal) Equinox

20 Tea for Two Tuesday

21 Credit Card Reduction Day

21 Fragrance Day

22 National Goof Off Day

23 Melba Toast Day

23 National Chip and Dip Day

23 National Puppy Day

23 Near Miss Day

24 National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day

25 Feast of the Assumption

25 Pecan Day

25 Palm Sunday

25 Waffle Day

26 Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

26 National Spinach Day

27 National "Joe" Day

28 Something on a Stick Day

28 Weed Appreciation Day

29 National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day

29 Smoke and Mirrors Day

30 Good Friday

30 I am in Control Day

30 National Doctor's Day

30 Passover

30 Take a Walk in the Park Day

31 Bunsen Burner Day

31 National Clam on the Half Shell Day

31 World Backup Day