NSA Families
NSA families may sound like a uncomfy topic, but they actually aren't. These are basically when a group of people just wanna play "house" in a way. They'll act like siblings, call each other "mom" or "daughter" etc, use it in fights, for alliances etc. It's just a fun way to interact with people.
NSA Siblings
Oh, the joys of having a sibling on NSA. For those of you who do not know, NSA sibs are basically your tour guide through the school. Each newbie can request an older sib to help them figure out this crazy online world and our amazing Welcome Committee Leader will find someone who is just the right fit for the newbie in question. I had a few younger sibs when I was in the WC. In fact, Amilia Sedin-Chan was one of my younger sibs, and look how she turned out! xD
One time, I found this very intriquate, very confusing paragraph written by Danielle van den Akker. Let me see if I can find it... *digs through some dusty crates* *knocks one over* *dust goes flying everywhere* *coughHACK* *wheezes* *cough* *squeaky voice of triumph and allergies* I found it! *waves a piece of paper up in the air* *navigates back out to safety* @_@ Remind me to bring one of the mythical vacuums from the Cold Stone next time, okay? Anyway... *ahem* *reads*
Okay, so Marie is my grandmother, yet somehow she is my sister too. Marie's siblings are Cece, Elyse, Robert, Nathan, John, and Kallie... which somehow makes them my great aunts and uncles... but, no, I am not any of their sisters. Kallie is also Marie's twin sister. Marie's four children are Abbie, Austin, Christe, and Charles. That makes them my aunts and uncles, yet Christe is also my sister and Austin is both my great, great grandfather and... brother... Which would make Austin Marie's dad and son... And then ther is Angie... who is apparently the Quad's Aunt because she is Cece's sister... And also there is Gayle who is Abbie's evil twin... Then Stephen fits into all our lives somehow... Then we have Andrew... who is "supposedly" related to Austin in some way... which would make him related to the rest of us... but that is unclear... Oh, I forgot, Tim is also Abbie's evil twin...Then we have Sarah who says she is my great aunt... which would make her related to someone somehow... We also have.
xD And that just about sums it up! Confused yet? No worries, we all are. But all you really need to know is that NSA Sibs are awesome, and if you want one or want to become one, just contact our WCL, Madison Stroup and she'll get you all fixed up! =D
*taken from November of 2016 #SpreadTheGolden Navigator article*
Written by Morgan Raines
NSA Marriages
**Reader Discretion Advised**
This next subject is highly iNSAne and rather absurd, but it does happen so don't lynch the messenger, k? =D
Following the theme of romance...
Honestly, I'm not sure why this one belongs in here because there's absolutely no romance involved in NSA weddings. For some reason, some kids here get really crazy occasionally and decide to get "married" just for fun. I don't know why. And I don't know where this originated. I've been present at two "weddings:" Joel Raines and Raegan Allinder, and Birdie Koski and Shalom Cross. The first with Joel and Raegan was quite spontaneous and involved the birth of a pizza that we all later ate at the reception (strange but delicious xD). Birdie and Shalom's wedding wasn't nearly as elaborate, which also means that I don't remember it as much, but I do know that they got "divorced" later because they were "growing apart" and Birdie wanted to "marry" Matt Brungardt, and we all know that polyandry is bad U_U
Now then, I personally have never been iNSAnely married (or any other married for that matter) but I was the officiator for Joel and Raegan's. Really, it's just the normal wedding ceremony except there's no true purpose except for silliness. Honestly, this is really hard to explain without sounding completely absurd =P
Oh! I know what it could be compared to! You know that fantastic game that everyone used to play as kids: House? Oh. House was the best. You got to pretend that you were the pregnant mom, or my favorite, the crippled aunt from England that always got to fuss at everyone xDD Anyways, this is basically NSA's version of House xD
Well, that's really all I can tell you about it without going on and on and on. xDD If you have any specific questions, please let me know and I'll do my best to answer them xDD
**Taken from February 2017's #SpreadtheGolden Navigator article**
Written by Morgan Raines
Another marriage was Anna Barry and Samuel Hewitt in 2020. This was on a call with a person acting as "officiator," and of course was party-crashed. The "relationship" didn't last and they never took it seriously. However in 2024, a new thing came into play: ADHD powers. This led to a fateful conversation between Jared Lemmon, Elijah Smith, and Porter Lewis. The conversation was a fun one: Gabe said Porter was cool. Jared asked who porter was, and Elijah replied "Your mom." Jared said, "oh hello mother," to which Gabe replied "waitthatmeansimmarriedtoporter." Elijah then made it canon with the newfound ADHD powers, and the rest is history.
The third was Grace Ansley to Jared Lemmon, where Gabe took a bit of revenge, shipped them together, and then used some shoddy evidence backed by ADHD powers to marry his own son against his will to Grace.
According to the law of Porter, Marriages that have been made with ADHD Powers are binding forever.
Jacob Grady and Gabe Nelson through the Science Guild found that if the participants play along for a day, the Mawwiage is binding. There is no divorce without good reason, both agree to the split, their children and their children's children agree to the split, and there are third party witnesses (including someone acting as Judge with ADHD powers).
Clarifications:
- This is not husband and wife, because that's even more weird (and probably heretical), and there does need to be a limit. So, the terms are hubby and wifey united in holy Mawiage (like the priest in Princess Bride) under iNSAnity, 'till 13th bridge do them part.
- Don't force this on people, everyone who has done this has played along for the bit, and haven't really said, "STOP". If someone does seem to be getting emotional about this, don't do it to them, it could really hurt them. Everything in moderation, including iNSAnity.
- Keep it PG13 please, we don't want any icky and gross stuff. That stays in a real marriage okay U_U and this isn't one.
List of Families
One of the first successful ones was Gabriel, Dorshea, Everett, and Micah McFarland and siblings, with Tirzah as the mom. This combined with Esther Noeth, with her sons Jared Cheaz and Caleb Calhoun, and three daughters Saron Mengistu, Kaitlyn Stephan, and Meredith Schmidt. Ruth Hopkins was the sister of Tirzah (ofc they were) and mom and Elsa Powers and Anna Barry as her children. These three families formed into the same one, with Ruth Hopkins, Tirzah Hopkins, Shawn-David Logan and Esther being siblings in the same family. Katelynn (Kate) Rogerson was their cousin. This formed around 2019-2020. Another family joined when Ruthie Overholt, adopted a lot of . A few of them were Dorshea, Fianna, De’Arkyia, and she soon adopted Anna Barry and Elsa Powers. No one remembers all of Ruthie’s children. (She had even more grandchildren than she did children, too) This semi-combined with some rugged edges with the family above to make the iNSAne family, which was very active during the 2021-2023 Dark Age. This "gave" Gabe Nelson a dad in Noah Howard, one of the first "couple" like situations in NSA teams Families.
A seperate family of Kasandra (Kasie) Gillum-Carr and Gabriel (Gabe) Lam Yuen have three children: Kaitlyn Stephan (oldest), Jared Cheaz (middle), and Naomi Noeth (youngest). The family also has an uncle: Ryan Boren, and an aunt: Saron Mengistu (This family is all gone).
The most recent family is the Haagenson Family, with a tree down below (which isn't complete). Started by the Haagenson sisters (Sarah and Anna), this family included Cora, Sarah H, Sarah T, Gabe, Silas R, Noa, Avi Reedy, Jared Lemmon, Anna, Hallie, Tim (who was disowned after he left teams), Porter Lewis, and Grace Ansley. Hallie, Anna, and Jared make up "The Chaotic Triplets", in which Hallie is the oldest, then Jared[1], and then Anna as the baby of the three. Gabe is ADHD power married to Porter, and Jared is ADHD power mawwied to Grace. Jared and Grace have two children, Esther Yang and Jenna Guyant.
(Because Gabe has constantly called Tirzah his mom, his side of the Haagenson family blends into the iNSAne Family and his older Family with Tirzah. This means that Ruthie Overholt is a Great Great Great Great Grandmother to Jenna Guyant [not Esther Yang, as she is a jagged edge in the family, as she is already a part of the iNSAne family]).
If you have more information on the family tree please contact Noah Pendley, as he is trying to put it all together in a family tree (the paper below was draft one, for the most recent draft, please contact him elsewhere (as this is viewable by anyone on the internet, and it contains peoples full names))
